Finding Myself Again: A Summer Story of Academic Healing

Every summer, like clockwork, it used to hit me - the identity crisis. For years, I couldn't understand why the warm months left me feeling hollow, disconnected, floating through my bedroom in a fog of dissociation. Then it clicked: my academic trauma was haunting me.

Here's the thing about academic trauma - it doesn't end with graduation. It follows you, reshaping your relationship with time, success, and, most painfully, yourself. During the academic year, I had a role, a purpose, a clear label.

Summer stripped that away, leaving me raw and undefined.

But over the past few years, I decided to embrace this differently. Instead of losing myself to the fog, I started experimenting with identity anchors - small acts of self-discovery that pulled me back to solid ground. I picked up my dusty favorite reads, letting my mind wander in foreign places. I remember when I was younger and would bask in the warmth of the sun as I lay in the grass spending hours reading.  I reconnected with Walter Mosley, Dean Koontz, and other old friends. I had brunch with old friends. I threw myself into projects that interested me, reimagining spaces in ways that felt truly mine. Late at night, I found myself listening to music, coloring, painting, and creating art that spoke to something deep and authentic within me.

These weren't just hobbies - they were breadcrumbs leading me back to myself. Each practice, each project, each late-night session whispered: "You exist beyond your academic identity. You are whole without grades, papers, or institutional validation."

The healing isn't linear. Some days the fog still rolls in. But now I know how to find my way back - not to who I was before academia, but to who I'm becoming after it. The journey isn't about curing the trauma; it's about learning to navigate it with grace and self-compassion (and I am learning to use my story to help others- without shame.)

To anyone else feeling lost in their own aftermath, whether academic, professional or some other life-altering experience, your identity crisis is valid. Your healing doesn't need to look like anyone else's. Start small. Find your anchors. If you don't have an anchor, join us for Endarkened Narratives, Embodied Tales and latch on to us until you're ready. Trust that you know how to find yourself again, even if the path looks different each time.

Head up. Deep breath. You're still here. And that's enough.